I knew I always knew wanted to be a mother...I knew I was made to be a Mommy! After our July 2006 wedding, Nate and I had agreed that we would wait and spend time together as a new married couple before trying to become parents. By the end of 2006, my need to be a mommy kicked in full force!!
I was diagnosed with Edometriosis at the age of 15 and had been on birth control to combat the pain and symptoms since then. In March 2007, Nate and I decided that would would stop taking birth control and see what happens! I was beyond excited!! With each month, my excited was draining and I started becoming concerned that there might be an issue that was causing me to not be able to get pregnant.
In December 2007 I went 48 days between periods and thought for sure that I could be pregnant. My excited was short lived when I discovered that I wasn't pregnant and that his was signaling a health concern. My first visit with my OBGYN was in January 2008. After multiple test and procedures, I was given news that I wasn't expecting. Nate had asked me if I wanted him to go to my appt with me and I told him that I was sure it would be fine (he worked 3rd shift at the time). Boy was I wrong...
My doctor told me that though it wasn't completely impossible to have a child, our chances where some of the lowest she had seen. I was diagnosed with Endometriosis (ask I'd already known) as well as Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS and Nate was diagnosed with an issue of his own (I don't feel that it would be right of me to discuss his health concerns on an open forum such as this without his knowing. Plus guys are much more private than us girls :) ). I wasn't ovulating and hadn't been since starting treatment, in fact our doctor wasn't even sure if I'd ever ovulated on my own since I'd been on birth control since such a young age.
I'm not going to lie, I was completely devastated. I questioned everything...why me, why us, what had I done to cause this, why were we being punished...I had just known since a young child that I wanted to be a mother and now that seemed impossible. The next year of my life was a complete blurr. We continued with monthly tests, procedures, medications and doctor visits. Nothing was working. Each month I became more an more depressed that something I want so badly I had no control over. I've always been a religious person but I know for sure that I prayed harder during that year than I ever had up to that point.
In November 2008 after taking more medication than I could remember (at one point I was taking 10-11 pills a day), I decided that mentally and physically I needed a break. I still wanted to have a child so badly, but I wasn't the person I was when I had began this journey. I didn't even recognizer myself but I couldn't control it. I found myself getting upset with other person that were pregnant, not understand how some people could think about making a baby and get pregnant that day and feeling as though I would never have a dream of holding our child. In that year, 2 of my very close friends who I'd been friends with for several years, became pregnant and our friendships dissolved because they couldn't understand my depression over not being able to become pregnant.
In March 2009 Nate and I took a long weekend trip to San Antonio, Texas. I was horrible vacation and we we're more than ready to come home! Little did I know that vacation would change our lives forever. In April 2009, while preparing to have an MRI done (later post), I found out my dreams were going to come true, we were pregnant!!! I can't even explain that feeling I had!! We finally had our prayers answered and God had blessed us with a miracle!!